It’s 2015 and Americans are spending more than ever on Mom for Mother’s Day.  As in an average of $172.63. Total spending is expected to reach $21.2 billion. What the what? What the heck are you giving your moms?

So I’m a mom and I’m not complaining about this Ann Jarvis saint who created Mother’s Day.  If she were here now I’d give her a big high fiver. It’s officially become my “Imnotpickingupyourcrustyunderwearandyoucansuckit” day. (sidebar: I love my kids. Not their nasty underwear).

But $21.2 billion? Really, people?

Ask your wife or mom what she wants. What she really really wants. ‘Cause I’ll tell you what I want. What I really really want: TIME. I’m not asking for much. Just around two and a half hours to myself. Or let’s just round it to three. Might as well bump it up to four for good measure.

Four solid uninterrupted hours to sit in my room. Turn on the TV (yes, we have a TV in the bedroom, don’t judge), and binge watch whatever the heck I want without having to hit the pause button one million times.  Throw in breakfast in bed, a mimosa, and I’m happy.

See? That was a breeze. Save yourself $172.63 and give the moms in your life something that’s inexpensive and easy on the environment: Time to themselves.

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